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Diet Jokes
Welcome to Diet Jokes where you can read the best jokes, funny quotations, anecdotes, limericks, witticisms and humorous cartoons about diets and dieting.
- With a slice of cucumber
Girl: I'd like a triple vanilla ice cream sundae with chocolate syrup, nuts, whipped cream, topped off with a slice of cucumber. - I get very tired when I go on a diet...
"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." - Diet soda
Two blondes decided to share a can of diet soda. One blonde opened the can, poured half the contents into her own glass, and the other half into her friend's glass. - Diet coke spoof
Every woman's Mr. Right? - Mommy's on a Diet
Uh-oh! - The Bachelor Diet
Breakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth... - Celery
After my husband asked me to help him shed some unwanted pounds, I stopped serving fattening TV snacks and substituted crisp celery... - Weight Watchers
A friend and I had joined a Weight Watchers group. At the first meeting the lecturer asked members which food or department at the supermarket was the most tempting to them... - Weight-watchers' spelling
Introducing: L I T E - Holy Olestra!
What did the Catholic Church call its new fat-free, low-calorie communion wafer? - A cannibal and his son
A cannibal and his son are going to look for food. They hide behind some bushes and waited for someone to come by. - Food and Heaven
This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise. - Fat sex
A rather large gentleman whose name was Paul was married to a woman who was as heavy as he was, if not more so...